Thursday, October 4, 2012

Lesson 7:The Backdoor

As I sat on my patio sipping on some brandy and smoking a cigar, I gazed across a field and observed 2 children playing. They were taking turn pulling each other on a wagon. They had a system worked out where one would push to a certain point and then they would switch. I then began contemplating on how this system benefits both parties involved and what allows this mutual satisfaction. Then it came to me it was because of the rules they had set up. Systems have rules and regulations that govern those involved to minimize chance of conflict or misunderstanding between parties. This is evident in laws, politics, schools, stores, etc. Systems control us in some way, shape, or form on a regular basis and Savagery is no different. Rules and guidelines have been set in place by our Savage forefathers, to ensure that fellow savages stick together, always on the same page. These rules have been passed down from generation to generation and those who follow them EXACTLY have been rewarded. Some, on the other hand, only follow rules that are convenient to their situation or the rules that give them the upper hand. This is squarish, and creates conflicts within the group. One Savage Move in particular that seems to bring out the bad side in Savages across the globe is the backdoor.

The backdoor is a very complex move that definition changes by parties involved. Between a Savage and a square it’s simply a Savage taking someone’s mark. This is seen in regards to Helen of Troy, Paris, and Menelaus. Paris was so Savage that he went to Sparta to renew peace with Menelaus but ended up leaving with his wife, Helen, BOOM BACKDOOR. Different text attribute Helen into falling in love with him by the help of the goddess Aphrodite, often when one is too Savage attempts to explain are often attributed to some type of divine intervention. Also recently discovered lost Savage text explains that Paris was indeed a Savage and this was one of the earliest uses of the backdoor. But one must be wary when deploying the backdoor, when this is done to a fellow Savage results could be deadly,as in this case. Also Savages have a strict moral code when regarding married women. But in most instances the victims tend to be squares. Typically when backdooring a square the Savage only have to invest minimum if any emotional interest because the square will provide this for the mark. The square constantly forces the mark to yearn for the savage because of the overall lameness and the fact that he or she can't tell that something is going on.

No one is immune to the spoils of the backdoor, this includes Savages. The backdoor is ambiguous in nature. So in regards to Savages this course of action can be embarked on in different ways revealing both the good and bad that is in the heart of every Savage.

The truest Savage course is gaining authorized access to a mark of choice that a fellow Savage has established an emotional connection to while following the rules of backdoordom. Another being gaining unauthorized access to said mark of choice but still following other rules. Lastly the most despicable which usually leads to a revocation of ones Savage card is that a fellow Savage having denied access and the rules of backdoordom are not followed. Backdooring plays on the emotions of those involved and, if allowed, can erase years of friendship. This is why it is rarely used by Savages but there are exceptions. In a study of the Louisiana State University population of Savages, the effects of backdooring have been shown to have the opposite effect. The strength in the bond of friendship actually increased, when exposed to backdooring stimuli. One group in particular, that was also responsible for 74.7% of all Savage activity in the area, had the strongest relational bonds of any group we have ever tested. When asked to explain the groundbreaking results, Savages of this group shared the same answer. "We all know the rules of the game." As a treat for the reader, the Mackonomics team went into the field to gather the rules of backdoordom from this group of Savages. This is what our Savage correspondent team came up with.

The first lesson one must understand about Backdoor ethics is that it ONLY happens in situations where your fellow Savage developed an emotional connection with a mark(s) of choice. A Savage may have no more than two marks deemed untouchable. These two may be interchanged based on the current position of life the fellow Savage is in. Backdoor ethics must be also are only applied to a Savage acquaintances that is a close friend. This is extremely subjective so let me outline close friend.

  1. A person is your close friend if:
  2. Communication, in any form, takes place at least 5 times a week
  3. He/She is the first add on for a 2x2, when one savage has open lines of communication with two marks and another Savage is needed for assistance.
  4. You don't mind talking to the lesser friend (L) of the mark he/she is interested in so they can get the W.
  5. One of the first 5 people that is contacted for a turn up session.
  6.  If person is low on funds for any turn up session, you volunteer to help before even realizing it.
  7. Person knows at least 85% of your Savage quests.
  8. You and the person share the title of savage. Actually developed savage plots together
  9. Person has a slot in your wedding party.

If any of these are true the Savage must gain approval from fellow Savage before Backdoor is initiated. When an answer is given both Savages now have certain rues they must follow as outlined by Savage forefathers

To the requestor:
  • No permission means no Backdoor.
  • If you are refused by the mark in the name of fellow Savage, backdoor is terminated.
  • Savage may not initiate contact with mark around friends.
  • If ever mark brings up other Savage in any light change subject.
  • Savage may not communicate with mark on any form of social media.
  • Is granting Savage and Mark have been out in public, requesting Savage is not allowed to do so.
  • Will follow any directions given by grantor.

To the grantor:
  • No Indian Giving. Yes means YES and it is FINAL
  • Will initiate some type move for Savage to get foot in the door.
  • If ever mark brings up other Savage in any light change subject
  • Don not exhibit any types of square behavior (Lurking, Hovering, Thirst Traps etc.)
  • Don’t be mad at the results of the backdoor.

A great example in history of these guidelines being obeyed would be with President and Savage John F. Kennedy, his brother and Savage Robert F. Kennedy, and Marilyn Monroe. JFK had an emotional connection with Marilyn Monroe. Realizing this Bobby went to JFK and requested permission to shoot. It was granted and JFK popped it off by refusing Marilyn’s calls to the white house resulting in her turning to Bobby. As any Savage would do Bobby took this foot in the door and completed the Backdoor. This was one of the most high profile backdoors ever seen. Often a strong brotherhood helps offset the normal emotion that comes with the move.
JFK (Back Turned), Bobby, and Marilyn Monroe

All backdoors aren't a Savages idea. In the event the Backdoor is initiated by Mark, the Savage must excuse thyself to discuss matter with fellow savage. Then depending on the course of action decided follow suit.

Not everyone that a Savage surrounds themselves with shares the same title. Some Savages may be friends with "Squares in Savage Clothing" and may never know it.This would be an individual that externally wears the disguise of a Savage, but possess the character traits of a square. These people often violate the rules of the backdoor; making this move the perfect situation for one to distinguish if a Savage is an impostor. It allows the Savage to see how the possible impostor handles the backdoor. The clip below is from arguably one of the most Savage movies ever created, The Mack (1974). Max Julian's character, Goldie, is the Savage of all Savages. His “Savage” acquaintance in this case is Pretty Tony. Goldie is the best pimp in the area and is innovative in his shooting approaches, and as a result, he gets the baddest marks in town. Goldie is the epitome of Savage; rappers, movies, as well as sitcoms, often quote or feature some of Goldie's most memorable lines. Pretty Tony is what we call a "Square in Savage Clothing". Not only does he disobey every rule of backdoordom, but he even resorts to threats and physical violence, in an attempt to recapture his mark. Based on all you've learned today about Backdoordom, how many rules did Pretty Tony break? How many rules did Goldie follow?

Pretty Tony:

  • Pretty Tony engaged in hovering.
  • Pretty Tony engaged in lurking.
  • Pretty Tony lost his cool, thus running off the mark. "Hey bitch come here. You out of your motherfuckin mind"
  • In desperation, Pretty Tony engaged in "cock-blocking"
  • Pretty Tony pulled a hate move on Goldie in an attempt to make him look less desirable to the mark.
  • Pretty Tony attempted to spread vicious rumors and lies about Goldie, his Savage friend, in front of the Mark.
  • Pretty Tony physically assaulted his savage apprentice in a desperation attempt to regain his lost savage card.
  •  Pretty Tony disregarded the friendship entirety because of the backdoordom. He threatened the well-being of his friend. 

  • Goldie did not expose Pretty Tony in any shape or form.
  • In this extreme yet common case of the mark choosing, Goldie removed himself from the situation to discuss it with friend.
  • Goldie gave Pretty Tony another chance to regain the attention of his Mark.
  • Goldie kept his eye on the target and perfected his game while communicating with mark.
  • Goldie disproved all of Pretty Tony's false claims to him in a way that made Pretty Tony look like an idiot.
Now on some occasions a backdoor can occur and neither Savage is aware until after it has already occurred. In these situations the Savage friendship will always be more important. More than often this was initiated by the mark in hope for gains. The fact that the Savage didn't even mention this quest show how inconsequential it is. Normally savages find this hilarious and it only strengthens Savage bonds. In these cases Savages will let the mark continue to think she\he has the upper hand but share information. As seen in part 1 of Required Listening.

Now when this occurs with squares a weird phenomena has been noted. Due to the unusual high emotions they get very emotional with each other and they would rather confront the party. This is usually because they have fallen victim to a dream selling thirst trap (see Lesson 6).

This is exhibited in Required Listening 2.

The rules of backdoordom as well as other Savage rules govern friendships of Savage. Savage friendships are effortless because the people involved are always on the same page. The bonds are more like brotherhood\sisterhood than anything. This is why a Savage friendship is one of the most important relationships to a savage, and why rules are mad to protect it. Remember it ain't fun unless we all get some.


Backdooring: \ˈbak-ˈdȯr- iŋ\ (v): stealing someone’s mark; to act of gaining authorized access to a mark of choice while following the rules of backdoordom, that a fellow Savage has established an emotional connection to; unauthorized access to a mark of choice, that a fellow Savage has established an emotional connection to or gaining approved access without following the rules of backdoordom. This is grounds for instant revocation of savage card.

Square in Savage clothing: \ˈskwer ˈin ˈsa-vij klō-thiŋ\ (n, adj): Beguiling individual that externally wears the disguise of a Savage, but possess the character traits and exhibits Squareish behavior. Intent is to deceive; infiltrate the Savage world.

2x2 (Two by Two): \tü ˈbī tü\ (n) : An ideal situation that arises in savagery when one savage has open lines of communication with two or more marks, typically close friends, at a given time. To alleviate the stress of entertaining two marks, the savage brings in a savage comrade that understands the fundamentals of the 2x2 drill to ensure they obtain the W. 2x2 is ideal but numbers often shift 3x2 5x2 7x3 etc.

Required Savage Listening:

Required Square Listening:

To pander to squares the possibility of twins was introduced. This would never happen for squares.

1 comment:

  1. Why are two grow men singing to each other while on the phone?