One of the most basic traps ever engineered is absenteeism. Absenteeism is the initiation of a conversation with a mark of choice on social media, e-mail, or text messages that the square would not do in person. Squares attempt to set up this thirst trap because he or she does not have the courage to engage in person to person conversation with the mark, or the square realizes that the mark may be out of the square's league. This is a weak attempt to gain confidence that leads to more complicated thirst traps. Absenteeism relies on the element of the mark being absent from the square's presence, thus creating misdirection. This lessens the blow of rejection that square feels if/when their thirst trap fails because of the lack of face to face communication. Rejection is easier to handle when it is seen over a laptop. Absenteeism is one of the easiest thirst traps for marks to recognize, it is also has the lowest success rates of all thirst traps. Absenteeism can be spotted numerous ways. Most commonly by a random inbox message from a person that has everyday contact with you. This person may be a work colleague, classmate, or friend of a friend. This person has the means to engage in person to person contact (P2P) with mark on a daily basis but passes up each and every chance. Studies have shown that Savage Females have actually developed a sixth sense for picking up those utilize Absenteeism. The Absentee Square is spotted by the mark because the square is always around the mark in a social setting, stays around after a passed window, and gets caught in the act of hovering by the keen savage female. The reason behind the low success rates of Absenteeism is because of the simple fact that in most cases, the mark already suspects it. The square's cards have already been exposed and the mark's attention is easily diverted. Other times the mark simply doesn't remember the square. The only way to avoid these squares is to completely go off the grid.
Another square that utilizes misdirection and a bit of deception is the Dream-Seller. This type of square seeks to impress the mark by dishing out false promises often being commitment, and compliments. Dream selling includes, but is not limited to, the construction of a persona that sufficiently suits the liking of a mark, thus using the mark's emotions against themselves to obtain selfish gains. Metaphorically speaking, the Dream-Seller is the used car salesman that tells you everything that you want to hear. They present things one way and once a deal is struck, or the goal is fulfilled, you see that you have purchased a lemon; or in the squares case being someone else. Dream selling is a thirst trap because it is a cycle that never ends. The mark becomes emotionally invested in the relationship with the Dream Seller and becomes blind to the contradictory actions that the square exhibits. On rare events, marks have been known to temporarily spot the square's contradictory actions only to fall victim to another one of the Dream Sellers lies. Dream Sellers thrive off these lies; they keep the mark embedded in an ever growing web of lies. Eventually this web becomes to great maintain and collapses. In some cases a reversal of fortune occurs.The marks is so engrossed in the lie that they themselves help tend this web and begin to trap the square, whose own trap has betrayed them. Savages on the other hand do not fall victim to the dream sellers’ tricks. In fact, trying to sell a dream to a Savage is a sure way of closing the lines of communications with them and getting on this blog. When attempting to avoid these individual do these things: Listen to what they are saying. Does it make sense? Or Does it sound too good to be true? Ask yourself “Do they say one thing and do another?” Lastly get the car facts on the used car salesman. Ensure they are the same person you are presented with to others.
Some squares have what they think is a more refined approach and try to be a bit more crafty with traps. These squares disguise their true motives through the practice of cloaking. The cloaker uses the safety net of a social institution to establish a direct line of communication with the mark. Cloakers may attend the same university, share the same occupation, a or can even appear as help to the mark to excel professionally. This particular thirst trap works because the cloaker fuses two types of thirst traps, absenteeism and dream-selling, into one but deploys them at different times. The cloaker first has to establish the lines of communication and does so by combining some aspects of dream selling, with the mutual goal provided by the social institution. So unlike dream-sellers it isn’t a total lie but they are still using deception to reach their goal. Often to establish direct lines of communication with marks cloakers use lines such as:
"That test next week will be pretty hard, want to study together? I know a lot of the information. Let me get your number so we can meet up"
"Hey I seem to be having trouble with this project. Can I get your number so I can call you if I run into any problems?"
"You're looking for a new place to stay? I know the perfect realtor. Give me your number so I can give to him and you guys can meet up"
This seems to fluster the unknowing mark. When the mark falls into this trap, the cloaker then begins to send the mark subtle thirst messages which do not have anything to do with the squares original intentions, this a type of absenteeism. The overall thirst factor of these messages grows exponentially as times passes. Cloakers can be extremely pesky, yet persistent. There is NO defined way to successfully evade the thirst of a cloaker, however short term evasion has been accomplished by marks changing their phone numbers or e-mail addresses. But don’t doubt there resourcefulness remember they are persistent.
Avoidance: The Friend Zoner Lookout List
1. "Friend" is too readily available
2. "Friend" never speaks to current or potential marks, always displays cold shoulder.
3. "Friend" never has anything good to say about your mark or potential mark.
4. "Friend" wants you to meet his/her parents.
5. "Friend" is always meeting your mark or potential mark.
If your "friend" does three or more of the action stated above, congrats you're being conned by a Friend Zoning Square. The only remedy for this situation is to separate entirely. TERMINATE THE "FRIENDSHIP" IMMEDIATELY.
So in the quest of quenching thirst be sure not fall victim to these traps or even worse try to deploy one.
Vocabulary:Absenteeism: \ˌab-sən-ˈtē -ˈi-zəm\ (v): The initiation of a conversation with a Mark of choice on social media, e-mail, or text message which the square would not initiate in person. Relies heavily on the element of the mark being absent from the presence of the square
Cloaking: \ˈklōk- iŋ\ (v): the act of using a promise with the backdrop of sociological institution gain to establish communication with a mark; after lines are established communication is not related to initial contact
Dream Selling: \ˈdrēm ˈsel- iŋ \ (v): the act of dishing out falsehoods for attention of a mark; the construction of a persona that sufficiently suits the liking of a mark, thus gaining emotional attachment
Friend Zoning: \ˈfrend ˈzōn--iŋ\ (v): the act of using a false friendship to obtain a relationship with a mark; the gathering of information that will later be used in a moment of weakness against said mark
Hovering: \ˈhə-vər- iŋ\ (v): the act of focusing all of one's attention on a mark in a predatory manner and attempting to stealthily monitor the mark's every move while being conspicuous. Similar to lurking except done in public.