Monday, December 24, 2012

A Savage Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
A mark was stirring drinks, while turning up to mouse.
A blanket was laid by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Rip soon would be there.

The square was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of thirst danced in his head.
And mark in her nighty, sipping a night cap,
Had just settled her brain for a long winter’s tap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
The mark sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window she flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and hoped it was St.Rip come to smash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to her wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight  wolves instead of reindeer.

With a Savage driver, so lively and quick,
She knew in a moment it must be St Rip.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dash’her! now, Smash’her! now, Dreamer and Dipsen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Ripsen!
To the back door! Hide by the roof wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So to the house back door the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of sell, and St Rip too.

And then, in a twinkling, she heard on the roof
The prancing paws of a wolf.
As she drew in her head, and was turning around,
Through the back door came St Rip ready to put it down.

He was dressed in a v neck, desert boots on his foot,
And his clothes were Jordan sweats with a beanie the color of soot.
A bundle of rubbers and brews he had flung on his back,
And just like a Savage,  he was ready to attack.

Her eyes-how they twinkled! As he approached she filled with glee!
Led St Rip to the blanket, and placed his hand on her knee.
Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And then down he lead her head to ready a blow.

She finished the job with the absence of teeth,
St Rip lit a clove smoke encircled his head like a wreath.
The scent of the clove permeated through the air,
The sent drifted to another room beginning to wake the square!
Spoke not a word, St Rip went straight to his work,
And ripped the mark to pieces, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up from the blanket he rose!

Waking up to a smell of clove in the air,
The square wanted to question the mark but she wasn’t there
He wiped his eyes and jumped out the bed,
Rushing downstairs  hoping he had nothing to dread.
Smoking a clove sat the mark next to the tree
The square seeing this his anxiety did flee
He walked over and joined her on the floor
As St Rip slipped out the back door

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But all heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"



Happy Holidays from the Mackonomics team.

Required Listening:




Friday, December 21, 2012

Lesson 12: Mind Mining Part 1 - Fool's Gold

Eager to pick up the latest Robert Greene book, "Mastery", I embark on an afternoon trip to Barnes & Noble. Anticipating on spending minimal time inside, I pulled up to the door and left my engine running. Book in my clutches and credit card in hand I walk towards the register. Waiting in line, I feel a tab on my shoulder. Who could it be? I turn my head and see its my little cousin. He has been showing Savage potential since his early years of high school and most certainly has exceeded my expectations for him in college. Catching up with him, we talk about a broad range of topics; Grades, politics, clubs, family, and most importantly, marks. He tells me about two in particular; both of which were exceptional rips for the entire semester. He tells me that one has been more reluctant at dishing out the rips as the days passed: he's confused as to why. I tell him she's emotional and wants to gain more from him than just a smash. Understandable, it happens. The other is cool with whatever times she gets to spend with him. Contemplating on my own Super Savage past and also Being an expert on this situation, I feel like I'm able to offer words of Savage wisdom. He says that due to overall closeness in proximity of both marks, a decision must be made. The Young Savage proposes the idea of keeping them both. Knowing that a decision must be made, he tells me he is having a hard time choosing which mark to keep as his main and which one to keep on the side. The Young Savage then asks how does he know which mark deserves the title of "Main piece" and which one earns the title of the "Side piece".


All Savages should cop Mastery by my good friend Robert Greene to add to their library of Mackonomics

I led this young Savage to the Geology section of the book store and told him all the answers can be found here. I saw the bewildered look on his face and began to explain. This is a common dilemma that Savages often face. The only way to truly be able to calculate true value is work both claims by a tactic known as Mind Mining. He looked even more confused I explained you have to penetrate the layers of a Mark's psyche to excavate what lies buried deep. Each layer is deposited layers of past relationships, hating friends, and require different Savage tools to penetrate. Now once you get through all these layers you'll start discovering nuggets of who the person is. This is where it becomes somewhat difficult during this mining a Savage must be able to decipher from pyrite or Fool's Gold and true Gold. Often Mark's that have low value attempt to disguise themselves as more precious metals I explained. So in orders to distinguish real from fake you have to contemplate on which characteristics work against the marks favor. I begin to spit Savage Game. Below is an aid to every Savage when a decision must be made in a situation similar to the Young Savage. If answered "yes" to at least 20/38 questions, congratulations Savage; your answer is clear as day.


Lastly, but most certainly not least, if mark slept with the homies, then she might be better as a side chick.

Equipped with knowledge to make the appropriate decision, the Young Savage and I parted ways. In a follow up conversation, he spoke of how after careful analysis of both marks, he completed the questionnaire and was surprised to see that his initial decision had been wrong. The mark that he thought he should make his "main" was smashed by a member of his Savage Pack. Hilariously, it was the emotional mark that wanted more. The other, rejected their advances. 

While embarking on your journey to Certified Savage status, the lesson of the gold miners must not be forgotten. Through years of trial and error, they picked up the necessary skills that allowed them to easily decipher Fool's Gold from True Gold. Fools Gold should be disposed of quickly; its useless; those who walk around with it look like fools. On the other hand, True Gold should be cherished. Its valuable, unique, and hard to replace. Don't be fooled by imitations my Savage. 


Required Listening: R.I.P. Big HAWK




Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Applied Savagery: Case Study I

As I sipped on a fine glass of Delamain Extra Cognac, my iPhone began to vibrate. Glancing it's way, I realized that I might be the victim of every Savage's worst foe, the unknown sender. Without knowing the identity of the person on the other side of a text message, its hard to adjust Savage game to the appropriate level to maintain Savage hold.  Normally ignored, I dwell on the text message from this anonymous sender. Paranoia instantly invades my brain. "Who could this be?" "Where did I last give a mark my number?" "Which marks did I last delete out of my phone?" "Which girl is trying to set up a trap?" "Do I respond or ignore?" "Who the fuck is this!!!!" "Gotta stop drinking and giving out my number to marks!" "Why didn't I store her number when I first got it!!!"


Realizing that my mind won't rest until the identity of the person is known, I begin to text back. The message leaves my inbox and instantly turns blue; fellow iPhone user. Green text messages are so garbage! The recipient texts backs and reveals their identity. A Mackonomics101 reader. Flustered, yet flattered, I question his purpose. What follows is the first of many Savage tales that readers have submitted to Mackonomics101. We at Mackonomics101 enjoy hearing all of your #SavageTales. All will be read, the most Savage will be posted. Also the identities of all parties involved in each #SavageTale submitted will remain anonymous so that the guilty remain innocent. Thanks to all who submitted, but most importantly, Keep It Savage. 



A. 



B.



C.



D.




E.




F.


G. 

After receiving this #SavageTale the Mackonomics Team came up with the following synopsis:

Utilizing all of the Mackonomics101 lessons from Lesson 08, and using the correct terminology, this submitter received the honor of telling the first #SavageTale, and as a result, automatically gains the "Certified Savage" title. As Lesson 08 states, "Once Savages enter a hunting arena, the first thing they do is find a prime vantage point to scope the area, look for mark(s). As proven by text message A-B, Upon entering the arena, Reader 1 scoped the scenery in search for the most attractive marks. Stated in previous posts, "The savage observes the marks, then makes a note of the marks he wishes to shoot at. Since all savages in the pack are exhibiting in the same activity, shooting opportunities are handed out in a first come fist serve basis.".

Once the marks were spotted, the Certified Savage deployed #SavagePack methods to ensure that he and his Savage comrade both get the W's, (As shown in text message B). Reader 1 utilized the #SavagePack method of the Diversion Tactic. As stated in Lesson 08, "When the diversion tactic is used it involves a maneuver where the Savage draws the attention of the marks away from a planed point of action. This is often seen when the Savage pack springs onto a group of marks and guides them into more suitable terrain for the Savage to the the W." The Reader sprung into action and pulled his mark. Realizing a member of the #SavagePack was in a losing situation, Reader 1 read the signals his Savage comrade was sending him and came in to provide equilibrium to the Savage. Reader 1 played an important role in ensuring that the #SavagePack ate. 

As shown in text message C, Reader 1 displayed the arrogance and cockiness needed to get the W in that tricky situation. If arrogance and cockiness were absent, both Savages may have gone home empty handed. If average men were in Reader 1's shoes they would have made excuses or have acted like they did not notice his Savage Comrade's distress signals. Savage's always rise to the occasion, no matter the slim chance of success. 

In text message D Both Savages deployed the method of Distract and Attack. External distractions may be planned or unplanned. In this given situation, mother nature extended her helping hand to the benefit of both Savages. They were able to successfully maneuver the pair of marks from the arena to an area that favored both Savage's shooting styles. 

After leading the marks to their desired location, both Savages were able to put themselves in a winning situation; as shown in text message F. Possessing enough Savage knowledge, Reader 1 was able to put himself in a winning situation. Knowing that no #SavageTale is incomplete with a Savage ending, Reader 1 made plans to seal the deal, thus submitting his #SavageTale into the Savage Hall of Fame. 

Reader 1 is indeed a Certified Savage and has garnered the coveted stamp of approval. 



Going through the motions subconsciously  Reader 1 shows that he's worthy of the title and is also worthy joing the Mackonomics #SavagePack into any endeavors we may embark on. Thank you for you #SavageTale Reader 1. 

Any readers interested in submiting their #SavageTale to be analyzed can do so by sending an e-mailed draft to Mackonomics101blog@gmail.com.  As previously stated, all will be read but only the most Savage will be posted. With that being said, Keep it Savage. 

Applied Listening:





Friday, November 30, 2012

Lesson 11: The Drake Effect Part 1:Origin Story

As I sat watching some of my favorite programs on the Savage Network I began to get turnt up from all the Savagery that I was viewing.  Then all of sudden the program was interrupted by the Emergency Savage Broadcast System. A simple test I though but I was wrong. It was a message from the Savage Surgeon General briefing Savages all over the world on the spread of a virus that is only preceded by Squaritis  in its horridness. The Savage Surgeon General appeared on the screen and in an ominous tone read his statement:

"The CDC announces the Drake Effect Epidemic. As global awareness of the Drake Effect reaches its all-time high, more and more cases are seen daily. This epidemic is prevalent among the weak, meager, and emotionally distressed.  The population most affected by this disease is of course, you guessed it: squares. But has been diagnosed in an increased number of marks.Characterized by increased emotions, participation in dream commerce, and increase in overall thirst, the Drake Effect is highly contagious.  Infected individuals are oblivious to all symptoms. The CDC warns all Savages to avoid any person you observe exhibiting these symptoms and report them to the nearest Savage Health Official. Be safe and stay Savage."

My worst fears had been realized this ancient diseases has reared it's head. The Savage Surgeon General had only given a quick overview of this ailment, not to stir fear in newly initiated Savages. He completely overlooked that a particular group of Savages are way more susceptible to this sickness, those of a fare complexion.   The lack of pigment in the skin of this group of Savages makes them noticeably weaker when fighting off all squareborn diseases. It has been documented that the most concentrated levels of all things square can be found in the light skin population. Making this disease very dangerous to our light skin brethren and their naturally weak Savage immune systems. But any Savage can catch it due to the ever evolving nature of the disease.One minute you may be talking to a Savage about a mark and everything seems normal then he'll begin to talk about his Savage conquest and have a conversation like this:

"What's up with you and ole girl?"

"She be tripping. Still mad over some old stuff ."

"What?! You better turn up!"

"I know, I am. But I think I like her."

"That's cool we all get 1"

 "But I don't think she likes her self and that's where the problem is. I explained to her how her flaws make her beautiful and she has nothing to be ashamed of. I tell her that she should just be herself around me and she doesn't have to worry about being perfect because I'm not perfect nobody is. But together we can be perfect. You know?"

"I know nothing about that type of shit."

"I think it's my past catching up with me. I did some messed up stuff in the past and I feel like I still have something to prove.  So I still need to go out and be what my friends want me to be and show all these other girls and haters I made it. Even though I feel so alone out there and all I really want no need is her. I go out just so I can see her."

"Are you feeling Ok?"

"Yeah I think I just need some time to myself so I can find out who the real me is. So I can be the best man for her. <Take Care ringtone plays> That's her hitting me up now.You want to get mani and pedis with us my treat? I think I'm in l-"

"Shut up. I think you coming down with the Drake Effect. You need to visit a Savage medical professional immediately."



Terrifying isn't it? In order to properly educate you all on Drake Effect diagnosis, prevention and how to cure the affliction you must first understand its origin. This story has been passed though Savage generations in case the disease reached the same level as Squaritis. This is the first written account of the story.
The Drake Effect has not always plagued man; it was a punishment induced after an epic level of Savagery was reached.  Our story dates back to the rolling plains of Savagonia. As you recall from earlier entries, the keeper of the first golden ticket was a Wise Shepard. In his youth, he displayed heightened levels of Savagery all across the land. Marks from all corners of the land would come hoping to get choose by the Savage. All across the world men and women would tell the story of the Savage and his conquest. His legend became so great he began capturing the attention of even the Gods. Zeus himself would often hold court with the Savage where they would discuss the way of the Savage. It was through these meetings the Savage gained heavy favor of Zeus and granted him the ability of Savage Game. Granting him with remarkable intuition, lowered emotions, objective thinking, extreme cunning, adaptability, a strengthened level of confidence. Being introduced to this new way of thinking the Savage 's mind prevented him from ever boosting a marks morale, and being overly analytical on the meaning of love. This heightened level of thinking also enabled the Savage to embrace the Golden Oozaru within. This spirit was believed to be lost after nomadic Savages began to build villages. All inhabitants of Mount Olympus enjoyed the Sheppard but one goddess in particular took a special interest  Aphrodite,was the most intrigued by this man.Unable to ever get the Savage alone on Mount Olympus, to further investigate she took the form of an exotic woman; she had hair the color of granite, eyes that matched the hue and intensity of the roaring sea, encased in smooth olive skin that had been kissed by the sun. Features such as these discomposed every mortal she came in contact with. as she roamed Savagonia. Men would cower in her wake often too intimidated to speak let alone shoot at her, not true for the Savage. With his new found skills the Savage quickly new something was different. When he entered to local Mead hall all the Squares in town were flocked around a particular area. The Savage knew this could only mean one thing a top tier mark. He casually approached the bar aligning himself to be in view of the mark so he could properly assess the situation. The Savage grabbed his drink turned perpendicular to the mark and through his peripherals spotted this exotic beauty. Immediately he knew this wasn't any ordinary woman it had be a goddess. The Savage waited for the goddess in disguise to make eye contact with him. The minute Aphrodite gazed in the Savages eyes his inner Oozaru was awakened and he approached. No one knows what exactly what our hero said to Aphrodite but it has been described as the single most sellish and ludicrously high level of Savage game ever deployed. Many Savage Scholars believe a mortal woman would have been rendered unconscious and would be forced to remain in a coma like state for years from the sheer magnitude of this level of shooting. For a goddess such as Aphrodite it forced her into a daze, instantly causing her to reveal her true form. These words made the goddess ready, she could no longer resist and she quickly transported them both to her opulent palace on Mount Olympus. The Shepard did not hesitate and ripped the goddess to pieces this lasted for a full cycle of the moon. It is believed that several sexual positions were invented during this session. After they finished they were both forced into a deep slumber. Before he could get comfortable the Shepard's inner Savage clock awakened him. Allowing him to flee before the sun could shine on the morning dew. This is how one of the Sell Commandments came to be. Aphrodite woke hours later and reached to where the Savage laid. When she could not feel his presence, she fell into a rage. She peered down from Mount Olympus, only to see the Savage up to his turnt up ways, shooting on a new mark. Aphrodite could not believe that a mere mortal had smashed and dashed with such ease and tact.  To get back at the mortal she concocted a potion that would strip him of all Savagery and inflict him with what he feared most, Squaritis. To make this dreaded potion Aphrodite began gathering ingredients: A tear from every virgin in Savagonia, a tuft of unicorn hair, the drool of a puppy, butterfly wings, the sweat of 100 lurkers, essence of Squares and lastly a little sugar. After combining these ingredients the potion was created. So Aphrodite reemerged in the Savage’s presence and congratulated him on his conquest. As Aphrodite talked to the Savage the same feelings she had earlier returned she once again  thirsted for the Savage and began to think her punishment was to harsh. She proposed they return to her palace for round 2. The Savage declined saying "I have new lands calling me to explore, a man can not make new a place where he has already been."
                                                                            Rejection!

 The goddess couldn't believe what was just told to her. She attempted to keep cool but this was a difficult task. The goddess forced all the bitterness that was inside her out of her tear ducts and made this concentrated Bitterness the final ingredient to the potion she held. A celebratory drink she proposed to the Savage. “Take a shot for me” she whispered in his ear as she poured the potion into his glass. He partook the drink not knowing what he just consumed. Almost immediately he felt the Squaritis attempt to take effect. Luckily the Savage's antibodies were stronger than ever thanks to gifts  granted by Zeus. The antibodies in his immune system fought off a bulk of the disease. Unable to fully take hold of a Savage of such magnitude the Squaritis mutated into what we know today as the Drake Effect. The Shepard now became a carrier but not infected with this disease.  His Savage allowed him to suppress the contagious nature of the disease sparing the world. Aphrodite told the Savage he wouldn't be able to keep the world safe for ever that he will one day pass the sickness to the his children and then the world. The Savage would later have a set of twin boys one boy took on his father’s Savage nature and spread the Savage gospel the other embodied the Drake Effect. Unable to suppress this contagion he unleashed the disease on to the world.

It is impossible to fight a disease with out knowing it's origin. Now having the background of this sickness you can now be educated on diagnosis, prevention and a cure that will be covered in our next post. Until then be safe and stay Savage.


Vocabulary:

None. Study the Origin of the disease. Explore the contrast between the different listening.

Effects of the Drake Effect Listening:


Required Savage Listening:





Monday, November 26, 2012

Lesson 10: The Ghost of Marks Past

Attempting to embrace the holiday spirit I concocted some turnt up eggnog. To further embrace the season I began to flip through channels and came across a holiday classic A Christmas Carol originally written by great English author Charles Dickens. For those of you unfamiliar with this great work it tells the story of Ebenezer Scrooge, a miserly and cold hearted man, and how from visits from 3 ghost; Past, Present, and Future. He sees his misguided ways and changes for the better. The ghost of the past is the most essential ghost in Scrooges transformation it shows him how he became what he is and what type of potential he had and if he reached it. As I watched this I began to see similarities between my own and Scrooge's journey.  I began to see how just like Scrooge I was shown my past by way of ghost except more in number,these where the Ghost of Marks Past.It is essential for every Savage to see their growth in the game and there is no better way than study  this than looking into your history. Normally you are given this opportunity in a reunion or large social gathering i.e. Sellapalooza 2012. It will not always be an easy experience when coming face to face with your past but is essential that a Savage can quickly categorize and understand how to deal with Marks of the Past. Below is a common list of these type of marks a Savage will encounter at this type of an event a preferred etiquette.

1. The Ex
Depending on the way the relationship ended determines the course of action when engaging with this individual. If the relationship ended on good terms, walk up and greet. This should not be awkward. The relationship is over and in most cases they have moved on. Catch up. The absolute worst choice is to act like you did not see them. Not only does this make you look weak, insecure, and immature  but it also makes you look like a flat out idiot. Talk to them and show them that you have a genuine interest in their life.

If the relationship ended on bad terms and if you or that person are harboring some bad feelings you should still acknowledge them..... FROM AFAR and keep it moving. No good can come from interacting with this mark. Do not put yourself on that island. The most appropriate course of action for this situation is the "head nod". To those that do not what this is I'll explain. In order for the head nod to be effective one must establish eye contact with the target while maintaining a separation distance of at least 20 feet . Once established, lift the chin one to two inches North and ease the chin back into it's natural resting position. IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOT EXCEED THE TWO INCH CHIN CEILING BECAUSE THE MARK INTERPRETS THIS IS AS DESPERATE. Again one must channel the wolf in this situation and become stealth. You must not allow the ex to observe you watching them watch you. Failing to do this sets of a chain event of reactions where the ex believes you still have feelings and feeds their confidence which can potentially lead to a public confrontation. Ont the other being successful at this forces the ex deeper into the pit of despair and regret that they already take residence in and allows for the easy fall in if other prospects fall through. This is a last resort option. No Savage status increase can be achieved by doing so

2. Secret Lover
Every Savage has at least one of these marks. One night when the moon was just right and the dress was just tight enough, you gamed her up and took her home. Ripping to pieces ensued and they kept it gangsta enough to leave before sunrise. They kept y'all's secret safe for years while constantly being in the company of people that talked about you when you weren't around. Reward her for her Savagery in a discrete way.

Course of Action: Engage her no differently than other people. A tight hug, small talk, then get outta there. Have a neutral friend buy her a drink and deliver a sellish message. As much as you think no one knows, some people may have a inclination about it. Someone always does.

This mark is especially fun to interact with because of the added element of the forbidden. Both parties knew before smashing that it was not supposed to happen, but you got caught in the moment. Flirt from across the arena. Give eyes, dance from across the opposite ends of the arena, send text messages, etc. Keep them in your sights... If you play your cards right you may fall back in.

3. The Tesla Effect
This relationship is extremely complicated . This occurs when the mark and savage have intense flirt sessions but external situations (exes of friends, currently in a relationship, distance, friend has a crush on them, etc) are preventing anything else from happening. When the savage and mark are around each other, electricity flows between. They are commonly seen in close proximity, constantly laughing and smiling at each other, and in extreme cases, have inside jokes. Everyone close to these two people think that much more is going on, than what actually is. The Savage and mark, both find this hilarious. Interacting with this mark is especially easy. Do what you've always done. Talk, flirt, joke and have fun. However, this should not be the mark of choice for the night. Overcoming the obstacle of past relationships and friend's crushes takes a time. The savage must remain patient.



4. Unfinished Business
Every savage encounters this tragedy. When things were getting hot and heavy one night, extenuating circumstances spoiled the rewards of the rip and things never quite lined up again. This mark is extremely difficult to deal with because each time they come into contact with the savage, the events of that night play back in the savage's head. Unable to deal with the fact that this mission is incomplete, savages undergo a time period of slight grief. In the savage's head, the mark begins to take the form of a challenge, one that they must conquer. The course of action when dealing with is pretty straight forward. Say things that only the two of you understand, but its safest to do this around a group of people. When the two are left unsupervised  they are both at risk for uncharacteristic gafts in public etiquette  All savage training goes out of the window when encountering this mark. If the tension is high, enough the savage should pursue this mark. The savage knows that if a mark was at the mercy of  a savage once, it could be done again. Go for it....


6. Trife Life
One of the Savage's most favorite past marks to deal with. The Savage and the mark both did something that most people would consider trifling or "down bad' to get together. Most people judge this relationship but neither the savage or the mark care. Undergoing this public scrutiny together, the savage and mark establish a so called "friendship". Conversations with this mark consists of honest opinions and motives. No bullshit is necessary, which rarely occurs when dealing with the average mark.

SIDE NOTE: People are watching you two interact. Give them something to talk about.

7. UUGGHHH... SHIT HAPPENS
An omelette can not be made without breaking a few eggs.  In the quest to the title of a "Certified Savage", most savages break the heart's of a few marks. The most common type of heartbreak that marks endure with the savage is the foolish idea that they may be the one to kill a Savage's Savage ways. They understand who and what you are, but foolishly take on the task of attempting to alter the savage's essence. This idea is as feasible as trying to domesticate a ferocious wolf. It's impossible! Marks that are not used to dealing with Savages confuse the Savages' bluntness and honesty for a genuine interest. Foolish! Savages do what Savages do and in order for them to reach peak levels of Savagery there must be some casualties.

When dealing with this mark only two courses of actions are available depending on the situation. If the mark still holds bitterness and anger towards you they will most likely avoid you or purposely ignore you or show signs of resistance. Resistance is a sign that the mark's emotions are in effect. Resistance can be easily transformed into the complete opposite. Acknowledge them, in most cases they will not reciprocate this respect. How childish. Be the bigger person and keep it moving. A Savage should maintain a stress and bitter free environment  Marks can sense when one holds on to this type of baggage.The second situation is more favorable. This is when the mark has grown up and realizes that everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect. They accept the Savage and a friendship is formed. In some cases you have molded another Savage.

The only song that can explain such Savagery.

8. The Siren
This type of mark can be traced back to the story of The Odyssey. Normally they travel in packs ranging from two to five. These nefarious creatures would lure sailors close to the rocks from listening to their enchanting song. Causing them to sink their ships and loose their lives all for their enjoyment.These marks still exists to this day. They will appear to give the Savage plenty of play, when in all actuality, they are setting you up to sink your Savage ship. They are characterized by being loud, exhibiting in pillow talk, and never being able to keep anything to themselves. Normally really attractive, but extremely dangerous. True fem fatales. Dealing with the siren is very difficult for a savage because they play on the Savage's greatest weakness..... The ego. When dealing with such a creature it is imperative not to listen to the melody of the song, but the actual words. Sirens never answer questions, and in rare occasions that they do, their responses never make sense. They are not very smart at all. They will ask the Savage prodding questions that seems like a W is on the horizon and when entranced within the song, too much information is given by the Savage, thus allowing your ship to easily be sunken. Sirens spread information gained from the Savage allowing you crash into the rocks that are your own words when shooting. A true Achilles heel to the Savage.

A depiction from the epic of The Odyssey when Odysseus came into contact with these horrid creatures.
9. All Grown Up
The Mark that is at least four years younger than the savage. Typically a younger family member of someone within a Savage's social web, they have been knowing each other for years. The Savage already knows that the mark has been harboring a secret crush, but chooses not to act on it because it violates multiple Savage rules. No savage picks unripe fruit, especially from a neighbor's tree. Absent from the savage's life for years the mark reappears all grown up and more attractive than ever. This sapling has bloomed into a bountiful tree whose branches are full with ripe fruit that now hang within the Savage's reach. When dealing with this Mark, one should not over do it. Remember the fruit is nearly fallen from the tree, just be there to catch the fruit as it falls.

10. The Swan
Everyone is familiar with the story of the Ugly Duckling where the most awkward young creature becomes stunning. Despite the unappealing exterior, the character always shined through. Very rare that this does not remain true.The mark's outer beauty finally catches up to their inner beauty.The mark also has a has a new sense of style and fashion to compliment the new features. Infused in this new lifestyle the mark has become more attractive than ever with a deadly combination of both looks and character. The Swan is no longer referred to as a mark in the eyes of a Savage....

SIDE NOTE: The Savage within me would not allow me to continue typing about this particular individual.


11. The Fall Off
The mark that was really attractive for years. Confident and arrogant with their looks, the mark became complacent and neglected dieting and physical fitness. Months and months of this negligent behavior, the mark's body underwent the three phases of the fall off. First being "fine", Second being "thick", and third being "fat". Most Fall Offs do not that they are in this category and their arrogance and attitude no longer matches their physical appearance. This is the exact opposite of the swan, yet no one has pity for their current state. Their outer appearance finally matches the hideous interior. What makes this change so astounding, is that they are normally really good friends with the Swan. The Fall Off dies a thousand deaths. Used to being the center of attention when being in the swan's company they must now take the backseat.

In dealing with this mark, never attack them for their current physical state. Just remind them of the shitty person they are and the effects of karma. Also, do not forget to compliment the swan's progress in the days of olde.


12. The Re-Creation
Insecurity is something that we all, as humans, possess. What makes a truly great person is when you don't let these things define you. Recreating yourself is one of the lowest forms of secondchancism. This mark was perfectly fine and and okay person but the key drawback was their insecurity. This prevented the Savage from accomplishing their goal when dealing with this mark, and also was a hindering factor causing the mark not to reach their full potential. This reinvention is characterized by taking on a new persona, character traits, and a style that is a polar opposite than what the person is known for. Also this mark is always under some type of construction and never a finished product. This type of mark is extremely  reprehensible to the Savage because of the amount of value the Savage has towards genuineness. To completely alter one's self based on insecurity is extremely weak. Dealing with this mark throws the Savage off their game completely. First because they are nothing like the savage remembers, and such a transformation is unsettling. The Savage is disgusted by this and finds it difficultly to hold a conversation with this mark, even when showing interest. This lack of confidence and sincerity can not be entertained by a Savage. Best course of action is to for the Savage to removes one's self from the the conversation before something bad is said.

SIDE NOTE: This was so frustrating for a contributor, that he was forced to smoke a cigarette. Disgusted he went on an epic rant in which he repeated countless times, "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF."



13. The Investment
All great investors have the ability to see the potential of a start up. Despite being in an infantile state, there is great potential for an eventual bountiful yield. The same keen eye is present in all Savages. The Investment  for the Savage is that mark that is years younger than the Savage, typically an age difference of four years. This individual is interested in the Savage but the Savage senses that they are naive and not mentally ready to deal with such opulent levels of realness. The Savage sees this person's potential to flourish into something epic.This type of  person  is considered a "Mark in Training" or a "juvie"and must embark on a journey to earn the title of "mark." The Savage begins to invests valuable time and resources into this start up so that in time they can potentially mature into a stock that can compete in the bull market of marks and then return on investment thus justifying the initial down payment. In order to calculate the potential value, Savage employ the following formula:




Where FV is the future value, PV is the present value of the individual, i being the interest that will yield from invested time and resources and n being the period of time the Savage will wait to collect. Many have went Savage bankrupt in the search for the hearty investment. By either improperly evaluating present value, investing too much or to little in time and resources or cashing in too early or waiting entirely too long to do so. An investment savvy Savage never has to worry about the potential of bankruptcy. They properly evaluate how much to invest and doing so the individual in question will remind said Savage into how long they have been allowing the investment to mature. Thus ensuring the proper time to collect. When reaching peak earning potential the Savage should cash in and reap the benefits of their work. This is one of the most rewarding endeavors of a Savage. Having trained the mark to your liking potential is limitless.


This shows 2 different investment strategies. Note the Savage's (Wolf) keen business sense brings about a high return. 


Dealing with the past can be difficult for the uninitiated. A Savage has to have the ability to quickly analyze a situation and come out the victor. Also a Savage must have the ability to fall out of dangerous territory and not debase them selves when venturing in lands of old. Understanding your Savage past is key with continuing into your Savage a future. When analyzing the past and what ever it may reveal a Savage must remember the words of 2 Savage philosophers. Modern day Curren$y who said "Emotional luggage, nothing of it, I don’t check bags I just carry-on, leave that bullshit in the past" a Savage never should never posses any type of baggage from their past. Lastly and most important the words of Confucius "Study the past if you would define the future." With out knowing how one started on this path it's impossible to continue on it. Stay Savage my friends.



Vocabulary:

None. If you have a request leave a comment.

Required Listening:




Thursday, November 8, 2012

Lesson 9: Sell Commandments

Sitting here sipping brews with my fellow Savages on the verge of the epic turn up session known as Sellapalooza, I begin to ponder about the origins of this event and what transforms it from a normal turn up session. The vital catalyst that transforms this turn up session is known as the Sell. The Sell is a phenomena when all the events for a Savage aligns.  The turn up session is organized chaos. But when this chaos is paired with the only time divine intervention can be attributed to Savages the results are amazing. In order to understand the Sell one must first understand its beginning.The story  has served many purposes throughout history, being told as a bedtime stories to young Savages, certain events serving as parables allowing pupils to better understand normative principles of Savagery, and as a means to lift low spirits and restore morale in the darkest of hours most notably during the plague of Europe.  The origin of the Sell has been passed through generations of Savages. This is the first written recollection of this momentous event but it has been passed from Savage to Savage via oral tradition since it's first occurrence circa 4000 BSE (Before Savage Era).

Our story begins with 2 young, lost souls searching for a greater purpose. They wandered day and night, through sleet and rain and other dangerous terrain. This journey was about to win against their will when they unexpectedly stumbled upon an elderly shepherd in the small village of Savagonia. They merely asked the wise man for directions. The wise man replied "My sons, I do not believe you are ending your quest. You have actually found what you were searching for."

Confused, the 2 lads asked "What do you mean? We are weary and in need of shelter".

The man replies "I have a riddle for you. What has 2 legs in the day, 4 legs at night and 2 legs in the morning?"

After a moment of intense thought, one of the travelers respond, "A savage?"

"Explain." says the O.G.

One of the young lads musters up enough courage and begins to speak."Well I once had a dream in which I wandered on two legs all day looking for a mark. When I found the mark both of our legs made four, we ripped to pieces and I removed myself from the situation, returning back to two legs, before the morning dew rested on the grass".

The O.G, nodding in approval, looks at the lads for a moment and says, "That is correct, son. Thou possesses the knowledge worthy of the quest." The O.G looks to his multitudinous herd of sheep and releases a call from the depths of his soul. The sea of white wool parts to reveal a lone black sheep. As the sheep approaches the men, the boys notice a shimmer of light beaming from its neck. The O.G holds the light in the palm of his hand.  When the brightness subsides, the boys notice the light has taken the form of what we know today to be THE ancient Golden Ticket. Along with this ticket, the O.G hands them a stone tablet with 10 instructions known as the Sell Commandments:

 Thou must become one with the spirit of the wolf.
 Thou must drinketh from the forbidden pool of Kuuza.
 Thou must Kuuza.
 Thou must not lose the spirit of the wolf.
 Thou must channel thy inner Oozaru.
 Thou must seek the followers of Dionysus.
 Thou must find the deity of song.
 Thou must become the four-legged beast.
 Thou must acquire the swiftness of the Basiliscus.
 Thou must repeat for another cycle of the sun.


After the two receive the ancient tablet, they began to decipher the meaning of Savage. The journey was perilous and relied on intuition and Savage instincts. Through their travels they deciphered the meaning of each Sell Commandment.

1. The wolf hunts in a pack. Nature's most devastating entity. Wolves use different mechanisms and methodologies to take down the most difficult of prey.  From this solid foundation, the two lads concluded that savages that hunt together, feast together. No man shall be left behind.

2. Kuuza is an ancient Swahili term for "Sell". In order for savages to reach the full potential of the wolf and not fall victim to the "thirst", one must quench thyself with the forbidden water of Kuuza.

3. After digesting the forbidden drink of Kuuza, thou must embrace the spirit of the Kuuza, thus resulting in peak levels of savagery and sellish lifestyle.

4. One must not reject or regurgitate the sellish potion or seek rest. One must fully embrace the moment and rise to the occasion and never subside from the excellence that is required. #DontTapOut. Only few have succeeded beyond this point and many have perished:

#DontTapOut

5. The lads knew that the Oozaru was the most feared creature in all of Savagonia. The creature manifested itself when the moon was full and the pool of Kuuza was most potent. This creature took the form of a gigantic golden APE and reigned down havoc on all in its sights. To channel this spirit would make the savage the most formidable opponent any square or mark would even see. On very rare occasion, when a pack of Gorilla Pimps are formed, they are single handedly the most unstoppable force since the creation of man. Every modern day savage pack idolizes this illustrious formation of Savages.


6. The followers of Dionysus were those who also partook of the pool of Kuuza, but lacked the clarity that transformed them into savages. Symbolically, these were the prey that the wolf hunted and feasted upon. None were safe. The two lads went on an epic search for the most appealing marks in all Savagonia.

7. In order to find the peak of all savagery, the lads knew that song was required. In order to get the lads and their prey to reach the full potential the proper song was need, thus resulting in the first SELL PLAYLIST.

8. The lads recollected the riddle the the O.G initially presented them with. They knew that this was one of the last steps of their savage transformation. Two ordinary walking people became the four legged beast, when they bonded extremities to become one being lost in ecstasy. To reach this level of nirvana, The lads understood that they must become one with the followers of Dionysus and rip to pieces.


9. The newly transformed Savage realized the only way to maintain this level of Kuuza was to vacate relics of the past and seek new treasure. Thus, one must become stealth and swift as the Jesus Lizard, moving with such haste that one could walk on water.


10. In order for one's destiny to be complete, you must complete this cycle within the dusk of 2 days.


The two young lads completed each task and went back to see the shepherd. After they told him of their journey, the O.G reached in his travelers pack and revealed an enormous roll of tickets. The O.G asked the two lads, "Do you know what these are for my sons?"

The boys took time to thinks and responded, "Well wise shepherd, the tickets are a vital part of the Sell. Without the ticket our journey would have been less pleasurable. The ticket is the key which opens the lock to the sellish lifestyle. We must take the tickets and give them to people that we see worthy of the sell."

The shepherd grinned at the boys with a look of admiration and said, "I have no more to teach you. Do unto others as I have unto you."

The lads parted ways with the shepherd and spread their sellish ways all over Savagonia. The lessons of their selling reached every corner of the earth. To honor the two lads, the people of Savagonia held a festival. First a ceremony in which they showcase new recipients of the golden tickets. The next day hosting a turn up session where Savages from all time periods return to the birthplace of the sell and share stories of sellish adventures and how they continue to spread the sell. The tradition is still being carried on this day through their Savage ancestors. In accordance to Savage tradition the festival has always been held in the fall under the waning crescent moon and a visible Venus in the sky. This solar alignment falls upon the second weekend of November for the year 2012. The event this year has been deemed Sellapalooza by the High Savage council. All are invited to this celebration but only one thing needs be remembered: Sell on, my friends.... Sell on.


New recipients of the golden tickets preparing to receive the gift of sell.


Vocabulary:

The Sell: \thə ˈsel\ (n,v,adj): is a phenomenon only found in the most gifted Savages; it's a combination of the perfect environment marks,and group of Savages; a sell simply can not be created or forced. this is the only instance where divine intervention comes into play for the events of the Savage.

Required Listening: