Friday, January 25, 2013

Lesson 13: Got Milk? Part 1

Feeling overwhelmed with the pressures and hustle and bustle of the city, a fellow Savage and I decide to plan an escape to a rural less populated area. Destination chosen and car filled up with gas, we embark on our voyage to solitude. Less than an hours time we arrive to our weekend safe haven. As we unload the car,we notice something moving in the distance many yards away. As the figures grew more in focus I noticed the familiar shape of dairy cows grazing. This reminded me of a question a reader recently submitted to the Mackononmics crew that basically meant "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

This question has been a great mystery, puzzling marks since the dawn of Savage. However the answer is pretty simple. To fully understand how one arrives at this point the journey first must be understood.

 Milk is considered natures wellness drink. Milk is concentrated with Calcium, Vitamin D, Phosphorous  and a balance of other nutrients that have been proven to build your bones, teeth, and as well promote a Savage function of muscles and peak coordination and execution of Savage moves. Most importantly Savages love milk. The only thing better than milk is new milk.  Those who do not get an adequate allowance of milk suffer from weak bones,  low confidence, lack of interesting conversation, cold shakes, restless nights, and lack the overall focus and control that is vital to remain a respectable individual.

After first tasting milk from a cow as a youth, one has to run this Savage tale to members of their pack. After this exchange initiated members introduce them to the world of rustling.  Rustling is the art of going from cow to cow and tasting of various milks. Harvesting milk doesn't start off as an easy task. Rustlers have to learn from trial and error on what techniques work on what cows and be mentored by older more experienced rustlers in the art.

While on this journey the rustler will encounter farmers, those who have settled down and exclusively get milk from a single cow. From time to time when a rustler is confident in his talents they may attempt to rustle a cow that has an owner. A skilled rustler can do so with ease. But with some farmers being former rustlers who know what to defend against this task may not always be completed. It has even been reported that some cows will attack rustlers when they attempt to go for a milk because how loyal and devoted they are to their farmer.

So you're wondering what can lead such a free spirit as a rustler to become a farmer? Why would someone who gets such a variety of milk want to purchase a single cow? Most of you thinking they only want good milk. True milk is a contributing factor, but a rustler doesn't make a decision solely on the type of milk the cow produces.

First of all, the cow has to have key behaviors ingrained. So when the rustler has taking a liking to a cow they start taking steps to get the lacking characteristics and nurturing those already present through taking special care of the cow which includes providing  a balanced diet, properly grooming, and making sure that they are protected. Rustlers also only purchase cows that they can proudly bring to the farmers market; for the opinion's of those persons present carry significant weight. Cows that are stubborn, nag the rustler, exhibit herd cow characteristics, don't interact well with others, and have nasty attitudes, are less likely to be purchased. These type of cows are only suited for the rustler while in the rustling stage

 At the end of the day  the potential farmer still has to ensure that the cow produces the proper milk. Over time the pallet matures and cravings can only be quenched by only the finest of milks. So the would be farmer seeks milk that is fluid, has a nice taste, pleasant aroma, smooth finish with no after taste, delicious, and is satisfying Not every cow possess this perfect milk but as long some promise is shown the rustler will be satisfied. Last, but most certainly not least, the most important characteristic of the milk is that it posses exclusivity. No logical rustler will purchase a cow whose milk has been tasted by too many for it lacks the uniqueness and freshness that rustlers enjoy. At the same time rustlers don't want to buy a cow that has never produced milk. This is simply because a true value can't fully be assessed of the cow with out having tasted the milk.

This may confuse a lot of readers. Letting too many taste the milk makes you a herd cow; thus lacking the exclusive milk tasting right that rustlers and farmers like. Not producing milk makes the cow respectful, but undesirable by rustlers and farmers. Being the fist person to taste the milk of a cow has the double edge sword effect. It's gratifying because the rustler always have exclusive milk rights, and can forgo many other steps in the buying process. The cow only knows how to produce the milk that only one rustler likes. The rustler can then change up the cow's diet to produce his own special recipe of milk that is catered to his liking.At the same token, being the first person to taste a cow's milk comes with enormous responsibility. The cow automatically expects the rustler to initiate the steps in the purchasing agreement; rustler may not be ready to buy. The cow is already too invested in the rustler and looks to him for guidance and dependency. Unwilling to let go of their rustling ways, many rustlers do not even consider trying to get  the milk of this particular cow and pursue other ventures. This is done out of respect.

All rustlers aren't as noble so the cow has to be sure to protect themselves from the dream selling rustlers also known as Rodeo Clowns. Rodeo Clowns are known to be especially fond of the rapper Drake, write poetry, typically say the phrase, "I'm not the rest of them," and may serenade their victims by wielding a musical instrument as a weapon.  Experienced rustlers are able to help protect the cow from this clown by exposing the type of tricks and how to counter quickly shutting their game down.  The Rodeo Clown manipulates the emotion's of the cow to get his glass filled with the milk. They're looked down upon by other rustler's and, in many provinces, restricted from gaining entry into any Farmer's Association's. No rustler wants to be responsible for breaking the spirit of this especially fragile cow. The Rodeo Clown has no integrity and deceives the cow into giving up the milk.

After carefully checking out the cow,  the rustler works with the cow to tweak it to their liking and spends time with the cow to better understand it. Now being heavily invested, it becomes apparent that they would not want anyone to take care of the cow but themselves. The rustler finds himself lending a helping hand when the cow gets trapped in different circumstances and then notices the he now keeps a watchful eye on the cow in general. Now embodying everything the rustler wants, the rustler is willing to take the next step of their relationship. The rustler wants to ensure no one else is tasting their milk so now there is a want for exclusive milk bottling rights. This begins the purchasing process.

In order to make the transformation from rustler to farmer the cow that is purchased must be thoroughly researched. The potential farmer must meet with his local Farmer's Association to submit a formal inquiry into the cows pedigree, and ensure that the milk is USDA approved and has no history of ever being sour or tainted by previous farmers. Without proper approval no rustler should continue with a purchase. Proceeding without first acquiring the proper documentation of the cow's history is risky, shows desperation, and reflects poorly on the potential farmer's cow choosing skills. There are few things worse than being the owner of a herd cow that produced milk to any rustler willing to drink. If everything has been checked and cleared the purchase of the cow may proceed. The goal for every farmer should be only to purchase the highest caliber of cows, Blue Ribbon.

It is key that the rustler arrives to this conclusion on their own.The time it takes a rustler to reach the decision and the actual purchasing agreement to be finalized can take quite a while. Many cows grow impatient try to manipulate the rustler in an attempt to speed up this process. The cow hints at the farmer at which bells she likes, the measurements of their neck, images of which bells they'd like, and slowing moving in some their possessions into the farmer's house. The cow's impatience repels the farmer and makes the cow look desperate. The cow must be willing to understand that rustlers take years before they start to think in the future. Just because the rustler buys the cow does not automatically means that they're also thinking of bells. In their search for reaching the destination, beautiful sights and experiences escape the cows eyes.  Be patient and enjoy the journey, its not all about the destination. Rustlers have to be willing to undergo the transformation to farmer. Pressure negatively effects this transformation and the farmer will always condone the cow for rushing things.

Now that the farmer has made the purchase, it is now their responsibility to keep the cow satisfied, protected and constantly increase its value. If a farmer doesn't do these things they leave themselves vulnerable to some problematic issues. Cows are grazing creatures by nature, so if  a farmer doesn't properly secure his gate he can find his investment eating from other pastures or even worst a rustler may intrude. In the event that the cow isn't properly cared for the cow they will seek treatment from a more qualified source. Providing too much nourishment to a cow is just as detrimental as not providing enough. For example the old saying of "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." are words to not be forgotten. Too much of anything is a bad thing. Some farmers, shower their cows with too much attention. The cow may appear to love it at first but with each passing day the luster will wear off. The same actions that used to make the cow happy now make it upset. The cow becomes bored and seeks attention from rustlers. Initially the cow only sees this as innocent fun but later finds themselves legs opened, utter caressed, and rustler getting the farmer's precious milk. It is important to allow the cow some alone time so that their identity remains true.

Another mistake some farmers make is putting there cows in barns. The barn is feeble attempt of an overbearing farmer to keep their cow hidden away from rustlers, fellow farmers, and other cows.  Often these structures are poorly ventilated, are set upon poor foundations which make it impossible to effectively secure openings, and are built with shabby material & improper equipment. This is easy pickings for a rustler.

 He quickly can enter the barn undetected and see how alone the cow is. Every rustler knows the phrase "Isolation leads to lack-tation." This has 2 meanings first being that the cow only produces the minimum amount of milk needed so that the farmer still makes the cow feel special; a feeling that every cow appreciates. But the farmer often finds himself falling asleep with an empty stomach, craving for a little taste of milk he is now addicted to. The second being a rustler knows that the more isolated a cow is the more milk is present waiting to be extracted. When a rustler realizes this effortlessly he leads the cow out of the barn an reintroduces them to once familiar sights and gives the cow gets a breath of the fresh air.  This tactful rustler is the recipient of more milk than he ever expected, without all of the extra care taking duties.

This only gives a small insight to those that do the milking. But whats more important is understanding the cow. There are many types of cows and it's important to make sure you don't purchase the wrong one. Also it's important for the cow to understand what they do to become undesirable after being purchased or what would drive a farmer into getting different milk while already having a cow purchased. This is a solid foundation of the thirst. The next lesson will inform you on all these things. Remember drink up.


Cow \ˈkau̇\ (n): the one in which produces milk.

Farmer \ˈfär-mər\ (n): Someone who has grown and matured, and now is exclusive to one cow. Sometimes a former rustler.

Milk \ˈmilk\ (n): The common bond that all farmers. rustlers and rodeo clown share. What they think about all day.

Rodeo Clown \ˈrō-dē-ˌō ˈklau̇n\ (n): One that collects milk through unscrupulous actions. Often plays on a cows emotions for milk.

Rustler \ˈrə-səl\ (n): One that tastes the milk of many different cows. Uses tactful methods to obtain milk.

Required Listening:

Monday, December 24, 2012

A Savage Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
A mark was stirring drinks, while turning up to mouse.
A blanket was laid by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Rip soon would be there.

The square was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of thirst danced in his head.
And mark in her nighty, sipping a night cap,
Had just settled her brain for a long winter’s tap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
The mark sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window she flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and hoped it was St.Rip come to smash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to her wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight  wolves instead of reindeer.

With a Savage driver, so lively and quick,
She knew in a moment it must be St Rip.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dash’her! now, Smash’her! now, Dreamer and Dipsen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Ripsen!
To the back door! Hide by the roof wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So to the house back door the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of sell, and St Rip too.

And then, in a twinkling, she heard on the roof
The prancing paws of a wolf.
As she drew in her head, and was turning around,
Through the back door came St Rip ready to put it down.

He was dressed in a v neck, desert boots on his foot,
And his clothes were Jordan sweats with a beanie the color of soot.
A bundle of rubbers and brews he had flung on his back,
And just like a Savage,  he was ready to attack.

Her eyes-how they twinkled! As he approached she filled with glee!
Led St Rip to the blanket, and placed his hand on her knee.
Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And then down he lead her head to ready a blow.

She finished the job with the absence of teeth,
St Rip lit a clove smoke encircled his head like a wreath.
The scent of the clove permeated through the air,
The sent drifted to another room beginning to wake the square!
Spoke not a word, St Rip went straight to his work,
And ripped the mark to pieces, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up from the blanket he rose!

Waking up to a smell of clove in the air,
The square wanted to question the mark but she wasn’t there
He wiped his eyes and jumped out the bed,
Rushing downstairs  hoping he had nothing to dread.
Smoking a clove sat the mark next to the tree
The square seeing this his anxiety did flee
He walked over and joined her on the floor
As St Rip slipped out the back door

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But all heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Happy Holidays from the Mackonomics team.

Required Listening:

Friday, December 21, 2012

Lesson 12: Mind Mining Part 1 - Fool's Gold

Eager to pick up the latest Robert Greene book, "Mastery", I embark on an afternoon trip to Barnes & Noble. Anticipating on spending minimal time inside, I pulled up to the door and left my engine running. Book in my clutches and credit card in hand I walk towards the register. Waiting in line, I feel a tab on my shoulder. Who could it be? I turn my head and see its my little cousin. He has been showing Savage potential since his early years of high school and most certainly has exceeded my expectations for him in college. Catching up with him, we talk about a broad range of topics; Grades, politics, clubs, family, and most importantly, marks. He tells me about two in particular; both of which were exceptional rips for the entire semester. He tells me that one has been more reluctant at dishing out the rips as the days passed: he's confused as to why. I tell him she's emotional and wants to gain more from him than just a smash. Understandable, it happens. The other is cool with whatever times she gets to spend with him. Contemplating on my own Super Savage past and also Being an expert on this situation, I feel like I'm able to offer words of Savage wisdom. He says that due to overall closeness in proximity of both marks, a decision must be made. The Young Savage proposes the idea of keeping them both. Knowing that a decision must be made, he tells me he is having a hard time choosing which mark to keep as his main and which one to keep on the side. The Young Savage then asks how does he know which mark deserves the title of "Main piece" and which one earns the title of the "Side piece".

All Savages should cop Mastery by my good friend Robert Greene to add to their library of Mackonomics

I led this young Savage to the Geology section of the book store and told him all the answers can be found here. I saw the bewildered look on his face and began to explain. This is a common dilemma that Savages often face. The only way to truly be able to calculate true value is work both claims by a tactic known as Mind Mining. He looked even more confused I explained you have to penetrate the layers of a Mark's psyche to excavate what lies buried deep. Each layer is deposited layers of past relationships, hating friends, and require different Savage tools to penetrate. Now once you get through all these layers you'll start discovering nuggets of who the person is. This is where it becomes somewhat difficult during this mining a Savage must be able to decipher from pyrite or Fool's Gold and true Gold. Often Mark's that have low value attempt to disguise themselves as more precious metals I explained. So in orders to distinguish real from fake you have to contemplate on which characteristics work against the marks favor. I begin to spit Savage Game. Below is an aid to every Savage when a decision must be made in a situation similar to the Young Savage. If answered "yes" to at least 20/38 questions, congratulations Savage; your answer is clear as day.

Lastly, but most certainly not least, if mark slept with the homies, then she might be better as a side chick.

Equipped with knowledge to make the appropriate decision, the Young Savage and I parted ways. In a follow up conversation, he spoke of how after careful analysis of both marks, he completed the questionnaire and was surprised to see that his initial decision had been wrong. The mark that he thought he should make his "main" was smashed by a member of his Savage Pack. Hilariously, it was the emotional mark that wanted more. The other, rejected their advances. 

While embarking on your journey to Certified Savage status, the lesson of the gold miners must not be forgotten. Through years of trial and error, they picked up the necessary skills that allowed them to easily decipher Fool's Gold from True Gold. Fools Gold should be disposed of quickly; its useless; those who walk around with it look like fools. On the other hand, True Gold should be cherished. Its valuable, unique, and hard to replace. Don't be fooled by imitations my Savage. 

Required Listening: R.I.P. Big HAWK

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Applied Savagery: Case Study I

As I sipped on a fine glass of Delamain Extra Cognac, my iPhone began to vibrate. Glancing it's way, I realized that I might be the victim of every Savage's worst foe, the unknown sender. Without knowing the identity of the person on the other side of a text message, its hard to adjust Savage game to the appropriate level to maintain Savage hold.  Normally ignored, I dwell on the text message from this anonymous sender. Paranoia instantly invades my brain. "Who could this be?" "Where did I last give a mark my number?" "Which marks did I last delete out of my phone?" "Which girl is trying to set up a trap?" "Do I respond or ignore?" "Who the fuck is this!!!!" "Gotta stop drinking and giving out my number to marks!" "Why didn't I store her number when I first got it!!!"

Realizing that my mind won't rest until the identity of the person is known, I begin to text back. The message leaves my inbox and instantly turns blue; fellow iPhone user. Green text messages are so garbage! The recipient texts backs and reveals their identity. A Mackonomics101 reader. Flustered, yet flattered, I question his purpose. What follows is the first of many Savage tales that readers have submitted to Mackonomics101. We at Mackonomics101 enjoy hearing all of your #SavageTales. All will be read, the most Savage will be posted. Also the identities of all parties involved in each #SavageTale submitted will remain anonymous so that the guilty remain innocent. Thanks to all who submitted, but most importantly, Keep It Savage. 








After receiving this #SavageTale the Mackonomics Team came up with the following synopsis:

Utilizing all of the Mackonomics101 lessons from Lesson 08, and using the correct terminology, this submitter received the honor of telling the first #SavageTale, and as a result, automatically gains the "Certified Savage" title. As Lesson 08 states, "Once Savages enter a hunting arena, the first thing they do is find a prime vantage point to scope the area, look for mark(s). As proven by text message A-B, Upon entering the arena, Reader 1 scoped the scenery in search for the most attractive marks. Stated in previous posts, "The savage observes the marks, then makes a note of the marks he wishes to shoot at. Since all savages in the pack are exhibiting in the same activity, shooting opportunities are handed out in a first come fist serve basis.".

Once the marks were spotted, the Certified Savage deployed #SavagePack methods to ensure that he and his Savage comrade both get the W's, (As shown in text message B). Reader 1 utilized the #SavagePack method of the Diversion Tactic. As stated in Lesson 08, "When the diversion tactic is used it involves a maneuver where the Savage draws the attention of the marks away from a planed point of action. This is often seen when the Savage pack springs onto a group of marks and guides them into more suitable terrain for the Savage to the the W." The Reader sprung into action and pulled his mark. Realizing a member of the #SavagePack was in a losing situation, Reader 1 read the signals his Savage comrade was sending him and came in to provide equilibrium to the Savage. Reader 1 played an important role in ensuring that the #SavagePack ate. 

As shown in text message C, Reader 1 displayed the arrogance and cockiness needed to get the W in that tricky situation. If arrogance and cockiness were absent, both Savages may have gone home empty handed. If average men were in Reader 1's shoes they would have made excuses or have acted like they did not notice his Savage Comrade's distress signals. Savage's always rise to the occasion, no matter the slim chance of success. 

In text message D Both Savages deployed the method of Distract and Attack. External distractions may be planned or unplanned. In this given situation, mother nature extended her helping hand to the benefit of both Savages. They were able to successfully maneuver the pair of marks from the arena to an area that favored both Savage's shooting styles. 

After leading the marks to their desired location, both Savages were able to put themselves in a winning situation; as shown in text message F. Possessing enough Savage knowledge, Reader 1 was able to put himself in a winning situation. Knowing that no #SavageTale is incomplete with a Savage ending, Reader 1 made plans to seal the deal, thus submitting his #SavageTale into the Savage Hall of Fame. 

Reader 1 is indeed a Certified Savage and has garnered the coveted stamp of approval. 

Going through the motions subconsciously  Reader 1 shows that he's worthy of the title and is also worthy joing the Mackonomics #SavagePack into any endeavors we may embark on. Thank you for you #SavageTale Reader 1. 

Any readers interested in submiting their #SavageTale to be analyzed can do so by sending an e-mailed draft to  As previously stated, all will be read but only the most Savage will be posted. With that being said, Keep it Savage. 

Applied Listening: